Concepts of Divorce Essay Example For Students

Concepts of Divorce Essay Is marriage no more than the result of voluntary agreements between two private individuals? Is the lack of detail concerning marriage arrangements causing all the divorce debates? Does divorce cause problems or solve them? Why is marriage such a religious experience and divorce such a legal experience?Why do marriages take place under the eyes of God while divorces take place under the eyes of the law?I believe that it was because of my parents’ divorce that I have chosen to tackle such a controversial topic. In many ways, I am in search of my own opinion. My parents divorced through the no-fault system. My dad decided it was time to move on to another life I guess. The no-fault divorce is a form of divorce granted without blame being sought or established. Sometimes, I try to think of how my life would have turned out if they were still together. I wonder if life would be any better. However, there are other days when I thank God for putting me through such troubling times; without them, I wouldn’t be where I am today. What troubles me with marriage/divorce issues is that one is dealt with while the other lies on the floor. Today, we discuss marriage, and we discuss divorce, but never both at the same time. Should we push premarital counseling, or should we make divorce harder? Why must we discuss one or the other and not both? There are so many questions concerning marriage and divorce, and that is why I’m writing to you. I hope to answer some questions you may have. Though you may not form an opinion about no-fault divorce, you should finish this article with a little satisfaction, knowing that you’ve seen both sides of the issue. There are many people who have spoken out about no-fault divorce and family relationships, but I will focus on two. In â€Å"The Divorce Debate,† Maggie Gallagher, a scholar at the Institute for American Values, tries to answer the question: â€Å"What, if anything, can we do about the fact that at least half of our marriages fail?† In another article, â€Å"The Making of a Divorce Culture,† Barbara Dafoe Whitehead discusses the idea that, â€Å"Divorce has become an American way of life only as a result of recent and revolutionary change.†I was very turned-off by Gallagher’s article. First, it starts off with what the author thinks should be a shared assumption; the assumption stated that divorce is harmful for children. Not everyone believes that. She goes on by asking, â€Å"What†¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦can we do?† Gallagher continues with her article by putting down other states because of their divorce stipulations. She says that they are not worki ng. Yes, she did back that statement up with information from Judith Wallerstein’s book, Second Chance, and statistics from the Journal of Marriage and Family, but they were buried between the many instances in which she shared the views of her opposition. The way she recognized the reasoning behind the â€Å"speedy spouse disposal† or â€Å"delayed backlash† was a nice touch. Unfortunately, Gallagher was so involved with trying to show the other side of things, she forgot to give the reasoning behind her own ideas. Through the entire article, she used negative words or phrases to express her feelings on divorce; they include: harmful, delayed backlash, speedy spouse removal, eliminating, marital wrongdoing, dissolve a marriage, bitter conflict, unhappy marriages, bleak times, punishments, messy and irrelevant, and torment. However, she never once suggested a solution for the problem of divorce. How can one argue with the ideas of others, if that person has no argument of their own?After reading the article, I was pretty confident that the author had not personally been through a divorce of her own. This alone, caused me to question her. I felt that a more personal article involving some of her own experiences would have been more convincing. I realized that she was writing with a logical approach, but I believe an emotional one would have been better. Divorce is a topic that touches every person in so many different ways. If the article would have reached to the heart, it would have been more persuasive. Though I am unhappy with the way the topic was approached, I am sure that the essay was not quickly written. Their was a lot of research involved in this article. Gallagher explained how different states came up with different solutions for divorce. She discussed the no-fault divorce and the waiting period before a divorce. Her statistic was a great bonus. Photosynthesis EssayWe have to decide what is more important to our society. Research shows that divorced women suffer a drop in income ranging on average from 30 percent to 70 percent. More than half of all female-headed households with children live in poverty, compared with only 10 percent of all other families with children. Medical experts say that men who divorce are to experience greater health problems and higher rates of suicide than married men. Are these things devastating to our society, or do we need to look at the other side of things? Without no-fault divorce, many people may become trapped in abusive relationships. There may be an increase in desertion. One spouse may be lead to use bribes or threats to win the consent of the other to end marriage, thus creating the return of blackmail under the old fault-based system. (Tyson 1-3)Maybe the topic isn’t the narrow one we perceive it to be. Maybe the topic evolves more around family itself. Midge Decter does an excellent job of discussing family in her article, â€Å"The Madness of the American Family.† She explains how a family compares with a rock, and not the Garden of Eden. A rock, can be far from a comfortable place to be. â€Å"But,† she says, â€Å"living on a rock keeps you out of the swamps†¦..The most dangerous of these swamps is a place of limitless and willfully defined individual freedom. The land of limitless freedom, as so many among us are now beginning to discover, turns out to be nothing other than the deep muck and mire of Self.† She continues, â€Å"The only escape from the swamp of Self is the instinctual and lifelong engagement in the fate of others.† Decter discusses how being in a family may not make you happy, but it makes you human. She goes on:â€Å"Together, marriage and parenthood are the rock on which human existence stands†¦.and No matter how ardently a young man and woman believe they wish to spend their lives with one another, and no matter how enthusiastically they greet the knowledge that they are to have a baby, they do not undertake either of these things in full knowledge of the commitment they are undertaking†¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦they do not know that they are embarked upon a long, long, and sometimes arduous and even unpleasant journey.† (Decter 1-19)Marriage, family, and divorce, are three controversial topics that each person must deal with in their lifetime. The great thing about them is that we are each allowed to have our own opinions about them. Maybe you haven’t picked sides, and maybe you haven’t heard enough to make a stand, but hopefully this article has got you thinking. I myself have not yet chosen a position on the topic. No-fault divorce has such a complicated base. Each marital problem causes rise to newfound solutions concerning divorce. Every person comes up with their own opinions. Each state has its laws, its bills, and its proposals to solve the problems con cerning marriage and divorce. The nation finds such problems floating above its head, waiting for someone, or something, to take hold and decrease its power to control the people within it.Nevertheless, Dector reminds us not to get frustrated about such topics when she says, â€Å"All this should be a very simple matter; God knows, it’s been going on long enough. So why have we fallen into such a state of confusion?†